Using personal influence

by Rev Dr John Clements

Personal Influence never stops—for better or for worse. We influence others, and they influence us, in some cases, even beyond death. Memories of a deceased parent, teacher, or mentor continue to dwell with us; in fact, their influence may actually increase with time. Influence can be subtle. Two people might do the same thing or say the same words and yet exert very different influences. Don’t be blinded by outward appearance. Your inner impressions are a more accurate gauge of genuineness.

Suppose your own character is somewhat less attractive than you’d like. Maybe you’re afflicted by such a bad temper that you constantly feel obliged to overcompensate. The dilemma then arises: you can either continue to go through this charade your whole life; or you can decide to be true to yourself. If you manufacture a mask of friendliness to conceal your irritability, you may affect a cheesy grin, a smoothness of tone, a blandness of vocabulary, a careful control of body language—all ruses to transform your overt hostility into covert hostility! Cool on the outside; raging hot within! What a wearying way to spend the day!

Personal influence radiates from the real person; whereas an unreal persona exercises personal manipulation. Personality-disguises are inauthentic, disingenuous, and self-defeating. Even the best orator will be unconvincing if he does not believe his own message. Yet an unskilled speaker can have the audience hanging on his every word—as long as his meaning carries weight. Authenticity makes the difference. The mechanistic perfectionist may be admired at the beginning; but it’s the sound of the authentic soul that will please the listener’s ear longest. Words that come straight from your heart speak straight to the hearts of others. So it’s useless to preach unless you are the sermon. Your words will ring hollow unless you are seen and felt to live their meaning. The Biblical Pharisee is one who lays down the law enthusiastically, but practices none of the spirit. The modern Pharisee fails to “walk the talk.” If we want to have positive influence in the world, we have to be good people on behalf of the world. And since every individual is a part of the world, we must be good to every individual we meet—otherwise our influence will not spread in the ways that we wish.

Self-Effacement or Self-Defacement?

Your soul is what you are. Everything else is what you feign— what you pass off, or put on, or mock up. Only the soul is authentic. It is the basic element of existence—immutable, indivisible, unfalsifiable. The stuff that your soul consists of is with you forever—so it had better be good stuff. We influence people best when we’re operating without contrivance, without artifice, if your soul is constantly battling for recognition, it will bubble inside you, giving you ceaseless aches and pangs.

But if you attune to your soul’s natural needs, which involve serving others, then true happiness will flood into and out of you. Your good influence on others is God’s blessing on you. It’s a thing bestowed by Him, not a thing hatched by your own unquiet ego. It’s what you were born to receive and destined to give. As long as you’re in tune with it, your light will banish darkness. Because personal influence is a divine blessing, it is a means for inspiring life into others.

We rarely consider the ripples that our little lives send out into space and time. The definitive effect of those ripples may never be known. The question is whether that influence will be one of light and truth.

ACTION: Try to influence 10 people for the better this month.

For further details please contact: Rev. Dr. John Clements, Life Wise Coaching Metanoia House, 9 Timothy Close, Norwich NR1 4NG, Norfolk, England

Tel:+ 44(0)1603 436658 / Fax:+ 44(0)1603 700734 E-Mail: john@lifewisecoaching.org